I’ll have you know i’m scared to death
That everything that you had said to me was just
A lie until you left
Now i’m hoping just a little bit stronger
Hold me up just a little bit longer
I’ll be fine, i swear
I’m just gone beyond repair
Let’s write a song that we can dance to
Cause they all wanna listen
Just to know how it sounds when
I do that thing you know that i do
When i find inspiration
This is me breaking down
Let’s write a song that we can sing to
And you can lead the choir
And put the hook where it hurts most
And you threw a spark that lit the candle
That set us all on fire
And sent a flame down the east coast
Why is it that the ones you want to be forward never are?
Gone for a while
And then blink and revile
My old habits get confused.
They’ve been placating my mood
And selling me cheap solitude
But I’ve run out of reasons to pay.
Cause’ I know you care
And I’ve grown so tired of not being there.
And I know you care
So I’m cutting off familiar happenings.
Conjuring up my melancholy
No that can’t go on.
Certain my sadness was necessary
Oh I’ve been so wrong.
And all that distance that I dispatch won’t ever help me feel less alone.
Stop all that dark and senseless brooding
Sing a different song.
Don’t get dramatic, this ain’t the movies,
Turn the camera off.
Yeah, all that acting seemed fun at first
But I’ve been playing this role for too long.
Tonight I rushed out of my room, dreading the idea that when I stepped outside the door, I’d finally have to play the bad guy and kick people out of my building. Instead, what I found really touched my heart. A group of my residents were simply sitting in a large circle in the hallway, wearing their pajamas, and simply just talking. After getting over the initial embarrassment of them seeing me in a Rumor Has it shirt and my superhero boxers, I sat down and talked with them. They explained to me that they often meet like this multiple times a week and usually with more residents from our floor. Then, one of them leaned over to me and said “It’s like we’re a family now. I really wanted to be out partying with my friends back home, but now I’m out making new ones and that’s okay.” And there it hit me. We’re all going through the same stuggle. We all miss our lives back home, but what we can NOT do is let it inhibit us; keep us in a cage. I never been so proud of a group of kids I hardly knew in my life. It’s nights like these that remind me I’m really in a good place. I have more people here for me than I could have ever imagined. These kids need my reassurance and I need theirs. Maybe making this up as I go along hasnt been such a failure after all.